Saturday, April 20, 2013

Anna and Mother's Syndrome

This is the original image I posted. I was so proud of it not three hours ago:

In science, there is a theory called the happiness theorem. It postulates that if a). woman is x). unhappy, then y). everyone is unhappy. It looks like this:

 x(a)     :(      =      x(y)      D:

I posted the art, I liked the art, I texted Anna proudly, and I received a text back saying only, 'Oh Lord.' And not the 'Oh Lord, thank you for this cornucopia that just fell from the sky,' more the 'Oh Lord, why hast thou seen fit to smite us?'

So I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Is my nose really that giant and hooked?" And that's when I knew: I had Mother's Syndrome.

Mother's Syndrome is when you love a piece of art, you think it's the most wonderful piece ever, and you show it proudly to all the other parents. 'Look how beautiful she is, listen to how sweetly she sings,' you cry. And all the other parents smile tightly, avert their eyes, and plug their ears.

Some artists never get this. Some artists hate everything they do, which makes me wonder why they do art. I'm the opposite. Every newfangled piece I drool onto the canvas is my baby, and my baby is the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD.

It isn't always a lost cause, though. Most times, I've just stopped a few hours short, or failed put things together in enough places to throw it off. So I gave Anna the usual artist lingo for 'Yeah I effed up,' which is 'I meant to do that.' And, as per usual, I got over my motherly pride and fixed the darn thing.

So here's the update. Is it better? See for yourself. Is it done? Well, we all know what happened last time I said that. Rock-a-by baaaby in the tree top.....

P.S. Anna was very gracious, never once criticizing my work. The conversation above is edited for humorous purposes, and does not represent her humble and sensitive nature.

P.P.S If you scroll from one picture to the next and back again in rapid succession, it looks like she's bobbing her head and laughing.

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